Remember that sense of accomplishment when you were little? Or do you not have those memories?
I look at my toddler and when she does something like matching up blocks, and she's so pleased! Or when she tries using the potty and we all clap for her! These accomplishments go with recognition.
When did we stop recognizing ourselves?
I look at the years passing and I try to pin point when exactly I stopped being proud of myself. When did I loose that sense of accomplishment of wanting to pat myself on the back? When did it switch to feelings of being ashamed for not knowing how to do something?
I can't say exactly when, but I know it was definitely around the teen years. My parents made us all work for what we wanted. I went to work at 14 and never stopped. I eventually was even working 3 jobs (2 places, double shift on one) so I could cover the needs of myself and my two kiddos.
Things hadn't worked out the way I planned them in my head and man... I spent years just feeling stupid for not having it all together.
Never once did I stop to think DAMN you're doing this all by yourself Liane. Never once did I have any sense of accomplishment. I just wallowed in this feeling of not doing enough. I wasn't doing A, B, & C like so and so... And that's all I focused on.
Years later, I started to change my circle. I pushed away from the table where I felt tension. And that did mean for a long time I sat alone. Sometimes, being alone is just what we need. Refocus, realign, and revision your life.
I'll save you all of the years of that and jump forward to right now where I'm on day 52 of the 75 Hard Challenge. It's been a definite mental challenge.
I cycled back to a lot of that same thinking when I first dabbled around starting this challenge. I shrunk back into self doubt. I shrunk back into feelings of "not good enough", especially when I started my fitness journey.
I used to laugh at people who worked out or posted gym/workout selfies but it was because I didn’t know how to begin. It was my own insecurities showing face.
I felt like I would just SUCK. And I did. FOR A LONG TIME. My first legit workout was with 5lb weights and I came home and threw up guys...
Sometimes I still suck. BIG TIME. I can’t run to save my life, I definitely feel like I should be more toned, have less cellulite, be able to lift heavier- but I keep plugging away. I’ll keep showing up. Because every day brings improvement.
I didn’t have someone who encouraged me in my life when I needed it. So I show up in hopes of maybe if I show that I’m trying my best that it might give a little light to those feeling down on themselves.
If only we were encouraged to grasp at the magic that we have within than worry about what everyone else is doing. Because at the end of the day, without our health does it even matter how much your car costs if you can’t drive it? Or those about getting those new nikes- if you can barely even walk in them...
I know that feeling all too well- struggling to even get dressed was a big feat for me just a few years back as I was ravished by 2 autoimmune diseases.
But change always comes from within. Find one area to improve on and stick with it. Step by step is how you get there. you’re not in a sprinting race, you’re not competing with anyone except yourself. Stop comparing. You’re here for the long haul bud.
My wish is for you to know that you can do hard things. And you can do them DAMN WELL.