Creating New Habits
Everyone that I know has goals and I’m pretty sure that we could all say that we want to be successful with them. I’m also confident in saying that life gets in the way and our plans change in a moment so it’s not always easy to accomplish everything we would like. As busy and crazy my day can get, I have found that the easiest way for me to stay consistent with my goals is by making them habits in my life. This could be as simple as setting a timer on my phone so I remember to take my supplements, meal prepping once a week, or filling out my calendar so my week is organized.
But how did I get to THIS POINT?
Life is always full of curveballs and we have to take them as they come. Some may totally knock the wind out of us and smack us on our ass. We're left sitting in a place where we simply don't even see the point to do this or that anymore.
Afterall, we have been conditioned to be a society that expects instantaneous results. But our life is not Amazon Prime. I'd love to say we can snap our fingers and have what we want with "two day FREE shipping", but alas, that's not the case.
But what you can do is set goals and see them thru. Some may take a couple weeks, others may take years. But having a set vision of the type of journey you want out of life is really where you will see success.
See back in 2010, my life was just geared towards "survival mode". I had already been thru a disastrous marriage and was separating from a narcissist turned drug addicted soon to be ex-husband.
He gave zero child support and managed to slip away to Tennessee and work under the table and still to this day has yet to actually contribute to his kids lives, which is for the better at this point.
I was working 60-70 hours weekly to try to make ends meet to take care of my kids. I had a child who had extreme behavioral issues and basically was living day to day just for the next gasp of air.
I had no goals other than "get thru the day" and hopefully get a decent nights sleep.
My boss at the time took total advantage of my "single mom" label and basically piled my workload so high so I was terrified to not complete everything and potentially loose my job. She was also a very verbally and mentally abusive person. I look back now and wonder how I'd react if she spoke to me the way she used to currently. I can tell you, it would not end up going well LOL.
Then in January 2012 my my mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 Diffuse B Cell Lymphoma and Leukemia. She died within 5 months. And I unraveled. BIG TIME.
I slipped into this mindset of just not seeing the worth in anything. I had spiraled off deep into a well of self pity and felt hopeless. My diet reflected that because it mostly consisted of vodka and grilled chicken. Yep- there was no self care happening here. I was merely just trying to escape my feelings and numb them.
So fast forward a couple of months in and I realized I couldn't continue doing that. I had to make some changes. I had been in a long distance relationship with my now husband and we both decided to take our relationship to the next step and get engaged. This would mean me leaving all I had known and moving to Texas. I was TERRIFIED, but I knew I needed it. I had to rip the Band-Aid off and totally start fresh. There was no other way to make any real changes unless it was basically "baptism by fire".
I left my job but still ended up working remotely for them (that's another story YIKES) and packed up life as we knew it and moved to Texas with my fiancee.
Wow...I realized quickly how much I had been living in this dark hole.
I made friends. I began spending time with the kids. I began to actually live.
It was definitely scary, but I had no idea how badly I needed a FRESH start.
That was the eye opener I needed. I was finally able to lift myself out of the cloud and realize I needed to do some serious changes. Now those changes didn't happen overnight, and believe me every day it's a matter of waking up and setting forth with determination.
Here are a few tips I have for helping create habits:
If you break a habit, don’t be so hard on yourself, pick it right back up! Most people give up on themselves because they are upset that they failed and didn’t find success the first time or maybe the missed a few times and don’t want to start back. Start back! It’s your habit, your life, you can do this. Don’t be so hard on yourself, so that you can start back where you left off.
Make your habit easy! I shared earlier that I have created habits out of just about every thing I can think of. I have a habit to sit down on Sundays and fill out my calendar. I have a habit of making my bed every morning before I brush my teeth. I have a habit of cleaning my fridges out on a certain day I have a habit of meal prepping so my week goes more smoothly. I also have a habit of creating timers in my phone to reference my planner so I make sure that I remember all the things
Do the same habits at the same time. This really helps me make sure that I do things that form habits, having a particular time in which the task is done sparks my memory and desire to accomplish it. Sundays are my day for most of my organizing and planning for the week, I pick other times during the week that aren’t super busy to do other things I want to remain up to date with on the daily.
Create a new habit following another habit that you do regularly. This one is SO helpful! Do you want to start something new? Do it right after another task so you don’t forget about it. You’re already in task mode so you’ll naturally just move into another one if it’s lined up afterwards.
These steps help guide me through my habit making and I’m sure that they will also do the same for you! Try plugging them into your daily life and see what happens.
Update me in the comments!